Contact
by kitty-rocket1
Summary: "It was another one of their 'study dates' as Sorata called them." Light Subaru/Kamui.


**Contact**

It was early summer and for once, Kamui was determined to wait for Subaru.

It was another one of their 'study dates' as Sorata called them. Every time Sorata had mentioned it with that grin of his, Kamui had tried (very gallantly, he thought) to stop himself from reminding Sorata it was mainly because the older teenager was a terrible tutor. This had the end result of Kamui scowling while Sorata laughed at him.

It was all Sorata's fault, and had nothing to do with how pretty Subaru was.

Kamui blushed. _Focus on your surroundings_, he thought desperately_. Don't be weird._ It was a warm late spring's day, a gentle breeze stirring his hair. The light through the trees made a watery shadow ripple on the ground. For the first time in a long while, he felt almost calm.

"Ah-"

Kamui looked up. "Subaru."

"I'm sorry. Am I late?"

"Oh, no! I just, I just wanted to wait for you. For once. I mean, you always wait for me."

"Ah." Subaru smiled gently, and Kamui's heart stammered. "I see. Shall we begin?"

* * *

"…I'm sorry, Kamui. I have no idea what to do."

The boy in question blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

Subaru seemed to wilt slightly where he was sitting, and Kamui instantly felt guilty. "I've never done this kind of question before – even before I dropped out of school, my job often meant I had to skip many of my classes."

They both looked at each other in silence. To Kamui's horror, he realised that Subaru appeared to be sinking further towards the ground.

"I shouldn't have offered to tutor you-"

"No! Subaru, I asked you to help me-"

Another silence. Subaru wasn't slouching, Kamui realised – his posture seemed to be immaculately straight, actually – instead the older man seemed to be holding himself rigidly upright. Subaru was tense, and Kamui had never considered the fact that Subaru wasn't a perfect ice sculpture, incapable of self-doubt; instead he was just another flawed human being, trying to navigate the painful world they both lived in.

This understanding made Subaru less superhuman, and more agonisingly familiar. Kamui looked down at the space of bench between them.

"Subaru, I…" He swallowed. "You don't have to put yourself down like that. Subaru knows a lot of things. And even if he didn't… I'd still want to spend time with him.

"Because I care about him."

Kamui looked up through his hair, and saw that Subaru had his eyes closed. He looked pained.

"Subaru-"

"You shouldn't." Kamui stopped talking, stunned. "You shouldn't waste your time on me – you have more important things to worry about."

"I worry about _you_! When you put yourself down you're not being polite, or kind, or thoughtful, you're just, spitting into the faces of the people who care about you. You're saying they're foolish for liking anything about you." He stopped talking, trying to breathe more slowly. _Don't get angry at him. Calm down._

"They are." Subaru's hands were shaking. "They _are_. Please don't try to tell me that I deserve to be happy, or-" Kamui saw him swallow painfully, his teeth clenched tightly shut before he forced himself to relax his body. "Please. I've heard it all before."

Subaru looked at his trembling hands, stroking the back of them almost tenderly as he tried to calm himself down. Wanting to give him some privacy, Kamui looked at the back of his own.

Didn't they Wish for the same thing, in the end? Okay, so he didn't know Subaru's Wish, but Kamui knew that the Dragon of Heaven he was most similar to was Subaru. He needed to try and empathise with Subaru. _Stop lashing out_, he thought. _Subaru isn't going to hurt you. Why are you hurting him?_

"I know you're not trying to upset me, Kamui. You're trying to make me feel better. I understand."

"No you don't." He realised he sounded bitter, but he didn't care. "This isn't about pity."_ I know that I still don't know much about you, and that's why you think I want to spend time with you. Because I don't know any better; because this is before I realise you're not even really here. But if I don't know you that well, then that's all the more reason to spend more time with you, right?_

_I want to get to know you._

Subaru had shifted closer to Kamui on the bench, and was holding his hand. Kamui looked up and blushed again.

"Well then," Subaru smiled, a minute upturning of lips that Kamui only recognised by the softening of Subaru's eyes. His mouth was relaxed. Kamui tried to mirror the man in front of him, tried to force himself to calm down and concentrate on Subaru's words. "Know that I don't spend time with you out of pity either, okay?" The hand holding his tightened its loose grip.

Kamui nodded. He hesitated before he spoke again.

"Um… the book has the answers at the back of it. If we know what the end looks like, then, even if we don't know the method, maybe we could figure out how to get there?"

His voice grew quieter, shy. "Together?"

Subaru nodded and smiled again, his eyes warm. "Together."


End file.
